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omg.
i am just, so shocked and stunned.
i read the papers today..
its like wth, i can't face reality.
though we never interacted at all.
i remember her.
she and melody and danielle.
its' like, just a few years ago,
she was studying in the same school,
just different classes.
can't express how shocked i feel.
it was just like yesterday that i was murmuring to myself how chio she is.
envying her for her goodlooks and everything else.
can't help feeling sorry for her relatives and her.
it's just very regretful how things ended this way for her.
the way she chose to escape reality.
it's really shocking.
her lifestory about a good girl gone bad,
how it ruined her life for her.
rest in peace, mernel.

..

i'm just so scared.
i'm worried that i can't pass this eoy.
i'm worried that i might have a chance of retaining this year.
maybe its just my fear acting up, as usual.
its so ironical how life is unpredictable
i used to be fearless, irrational, brave, jump at everything i deemed fit,
now i laugh at my own cowardice, my own fears, my own idiocracy.
i wish, that eoy weren't coming so fast.
two days, and its up.
i could remember one month ago, i was just pulling jokes like usual.
now the stress comes fitting in.
just thinking about things,
aimlessly wandering in life.
i found my ideal destination,
but i'm just scared that its too late to start now,
now my heart is so panicky.
i'm scared,
fear filling up.
i need, just somebody,to be there for me.
somebody, please comfort me,
and tell me that i am just worrying for the sake of worrying and nothing bad will happen.
i fear.

just so terrified.