facing reality.

i'm going to start titling my posts, whenever i can.
it makes it easier for me to look through.
i find myself browsing through my memories when i blogged the year before.
so fast.
its like zooom, its going to be the end of year.
and i'll find myself crying and tearing over people.
i wished there was more time to socialise.
this year, was just so short.
and its just about to get shorter.

lets' talk about me first.
end of year examinations, total screwed up badly job.
heck, i had a close shave with maths.
so close, yet so far.
i nearly started banging my head against the wall,
i was so disappointed when i saw the circled mark on my eoy paper two.
i could have cried then.
it was like, this is it.
byebye.
dream crushed.
end of story.
you're a goner.
that was the thoughts i was facing.
as on impulse, i started to hit my head with the paper,
scolding myself for making mistakes, careless work, careless miscalculations.
and the most guilty part is that i just barely passed with a point of 0.1!
just because of my teacher's pity mark,
when in the o's they don't give you the mark for inaccurate answer.
can go die man.

ch: both papers were fine, thankgawd, not so much a damage as i thought.

english: i was so freakingly surprised when i saw the first mark, the one that was cancelled, i had failed according to o level standard! =/ crap, i'm definitely going to buck up on this.

baked chocolate chip muffins yesterday at shi li's house.
her parents were great, her sister was helpful and cute hahas!
had a great time, thanks to shi li, shi yun, elaine and shengyi who helped out.
i wouldn't get to finish so much if you guys didn't chip in help as well.
thanks.
baking was just a innocent intention to cheer people up.
sorry if it was overally sweet,
cause its' a first attempt and all,
and the first bloody time i had to calculate 1/3 cup and 2/3 so hard.
just that i feel that i wasted alot of $$ on it.
T.T

anyway, i enjoyed baking.
next time want bake, i think i going to share cost,
D: don't want spend so much and waste $,
if people don't appreciate or don't eat it.

played audi with shiyun, shengyi and elaine and shili.
wooo! the only person i won was elaine.
okay, my audi skills need patching, but not going to do any patching.

giving to the teachers was nice :D
they all encouraged me to continue striving hard for academics.
i'll try my best, i promise you.
and not do any more mistakes that i have already done.

after tomorrow, i'm going to go about setting intensive revision for myself.
one day for the better subjects, and more than 3 days if necessary for those subjects that im weak at.

i'm worried for combined sciences and f&n.
combined sciences got half the class failed and f&n,
mr low said i was weak in f&n. Did my coursework pull me down? idk ):
jason is so totally going to give me a lecture for my paper two,
a badly screwed up attempt.
hais.

weexin and irene said i put too much stress on work and asked me to relax.
and my sweet sun nu weexin tell me that im at risk of getting anxiety attack o:
i don't wanna!
but somehow when i think about it,
comparing my results with my other friends from the other schools.
its a totally different realm.
like, zoom, i'm TOP from the BOTTOM feeling you know.

okay, stop crap.
this is my message for those people who are scared:

Sure, i know i'm not that good of a cousellor or a joker, or somebody who know how to motivate and encourage. All i can say that is, i seriously donno what to say to you guys, how to motivate and encourage you guys w/h being seemed as a snob, or a egoist.

For academics, there's still a second life, it's not like, if you screwed up your eoy (like me) you're a goner, or you kept passing all the components required, except for eoy, you're lost case. Nope, just compare the percentage. Like, eoy is 45%, and if you passed mid year already, be confident that you will pass, so long that you get at least 50.

Touch wood, but i'm seriously going to miss you guys alot if you go. True, i haven't been so much of a social person in class, more like the emo kiddo next door. But i can sense some people's efforts, and hardwork, working very very very hard to achieve their goals, but there's just something that they forgot to improve, so the overall efforts cannot be seen clearly.If you have already tried your best, don't be scared, don't worry and just go for it. Your fate is not sealed yet. There's still chance in the 21st oct, so don't give yourself jail/prison so fast.

Even if you didn't do well this year and slacked, there's still a chance, no matter whether you retain in sec3 express, or go NA or go up to the next level. You can start intensive revision, depending on your type. As in, the way you study, group or individual. Everybody deserves a second chance to do better. Don't criticize others based on their mistakes, reflect upon yours too. Everybody are equal, you can't be so mean as to laugh at others who got lower marks but just accept them for who they are. This would make their life so much easier. Remember, motivation and encouragement is the key.

According to some people, they said that 19 people from 3A cannot move up D: It's okay, just remember, there's still time. Stop whatever you're doing and start studying instead. Although it's a bit of self-denial at the beginning, at the long run, it would help you lots. And if you need help with anything, and you think i can help you, find me. Leave me a message, or call me. I'll help, if i can :D That's what classmates/friends are for! :D

Haha. seemed like i like crapping.
okay, bye.