Mixed feelings

I guess it's going to end.
it all ends tonite.
i missed you;
i loved you for what you were;
nothing's been alright since day 1;
i knew it;
i just continued playing along;
until i got sick and tired of it;
dat i just started to ignore;
just started to forget;
created a new felicia;
a felicia who knows when to cross the line;
a felicia who knows when to act idiot;
a felicia who knows what to do and everything;
a felicia who keeps her mouth shut;
a felicia who does her own things;

but;

it had already been disrupted the day you entered my life;
it's not fair;
we are all faking it;
it's just all a web of lies covered into it;
all our emotions;
faking a smile when we're not happy;
acting happy when we're not inside;
it's all a facade;
a phony;
a fake existance to be "IN"
cause we are scared;
fearful;
of being left behind;
no matter what;
we would just continue our life this way;
doing all these worthless things;
hanging out in cliques;
wasting time chatting when can do other things;
hais.

tday i wrote the announcement on board;
a lot ppl were talking about me;
my ears could hear;
they took tix from me;
den they left it behind later;
what was it for?;
just a act of pity;
I dunnid the pity sia;
you want you take;
you dun wan dun take;
simple.

wrote the letter writing;
I tot that it was alright;
who knows something happened;
i dun wan say anything liaos;
that fellow knows;
this is not the first time;
it happened dozens and dozens of times;
what can i do;
demand to sit alone?;
hais.

its unfair;
never do hw copy from me can liaos.
dunno how/what to do copy from me/I teach;
you good larhs;
test you more marks den me;
its okay;
but.
it is not even fair at all;
i seriously loathe you.
truth to be spoken,
i despise such ppl;
cause;
"You're born a original, why die a copy?"
hais.

3 0 O c t o b e r 2 0 0 7 will determine my fate.

maybe it's been time to let go;
i tried;
maybe i didn't even try;
to let you go;
to forget about you;
to forget about us.
but i couldn't;

i wanted so much to let you go;
yet i can't.
when you're beside me;
my heart kept thumping.
when I talk to you normally;
no feelings attached.

mixed feelings.