Missing th old times;

i'm going bonkers ain i..
madness.

want-ed to blog ytd,
too tired,
too overload with work.

lets see what happen-ed.
-flashback to ytd.

i really felt felt emo emo.
emo i mean, yes damn emo.
... really want to cry it out and all.
once for all, and all for once.

hais.
okeh, flashback.

tuesday had th well, mother tongue test return paper.
i suck
suck suck suck
bloodyhell.
i just barely pass-ed.
what's wrong with meeeeee
i used to be able to do well for th first MCQ section
i only got 4 .. what the fuck.
total 40.5.
I SUCK.

..
then, maths.
went alright as bo maths period.
was reading a book luh.

english.
odessey.
suck.

..
i love the odessey.
but well.
i really WANT to scold th teacher.
YOU TOLD US TO FINISH TH PPT.
AND I SKIPPED STUDYING FOR TWO, NO, THREE TESTS.
TO FINISH THE FUCKING PPT,
WHICH LEFT ME BLOODY EXHAUSTED.
and now,
you decided not to let us present and skippp over to new topic for common test,
Good one.
you know how much time and effort i wasted on this VIDEO?
Video edited over 10times until it was PERFECT,
and ppt,
i wasted two days to FINISH it, PERFECT
..
now you give us this shitload.
kfine, have it your way.

then did summary reflection,
summary points,
noting,
then.
after that,
finish writing down,
left.

go canteen,
buy food,
halfway emo-ing over what somebody said.

yes i'm fat,
big deal?
obviously i know myself,
you think you very big deal coz you average righhttt.
please la.
if you not uber thin, shut the fuck up.
you don't have any rights to gossip behind people's back,
ooh, sorry no people back, STRAIGHT LOUDLY INFRONT OF ME.
yes, pointing your finger someone.
you bitch.

then wanted to go the fishpond,
but couldn't
.. go physics.
want-ed to sleep halfway.
eyes kept dropping.
then suddenly, my eyesight returned.
and could study.

back home,
emo-ing over somethings.
then,
loss of thermometer,
bro threw it away,
suan le,
jiu suan wo suay hao le.

.. nearly cried,
cause really..
too much presssure building inside me.

responsibility,
resilience not to cry,
don't want others to worry.

.. oh yeah,
after netball,
after settling typing,
i went to see mr joshua tan.
he asked me basically all my school life.
in sec3..
i was going to cry then.
.. seriously.
just thinking.
..
..
then.
pretended that nth's wrong, everything finefine, smile at him,
told him a direct white lie to his face.
..
i hate myself.

then.. went home.
and stuff.

today,
got new bag.
yellow schoolbag.
love it, except that it's kind of loose at one end and kept dropping.
overall, lighter then old school bagg.

maths.
got back testpaper.
generally did alright.
24/35.
suck.
should have gotten 31 ..
was thinking,
jason would have killed me if he saw this paper.
two careless mistakes,
one lazy mistake.
and lots more don't know how to do mistakes.
well, i suck.
but actually it was good.
cause 15 people passed,
i was th 5th to be called.
and the first girl.
raymond, lutfi, asyraf, yongkang ..
arrange from top to bottom that is.
glad that mary and kiki passed.

then,
physics.
wanted to doze off,
damn tired larh.
but kept slapping myself,
pinching my cheeks to stay awake.
then finally woke up again.
then do all the stuff
mr tan sheng qi.
scolded us.
hais.
poor mr tan.
always wasting his saliva on such a noisy class like us.
..
he damn good teacher,
except no luck pick our class nia.
..

well,
ss.
firstly, i didn't know what she was talking about.
counting money.
then.
back to reality,
understood, finished work, got hw.

home econs,
fun.
damn damn fun.
except the marks thing.
39/60.
barely passed too.
but generally okeh,
cause didn't need to retake any test (:!
next time terminalogy you suck.
i just passed with a .. 4.5/9.
well, better luck next time.
..

then stayed back,
halfway done,
went to help out with netball board.
holding string while inshiri (my nick for inshirah) tied,
holding things,
getting stuffs for them
and chatting
..

i chose not to put the pic with me,
cause i know i look damn ugly,
and some of them look better in the first pic which don't have me,
so i didn't take that.
(:

hope they understand.
i don't wanna people to be sad because of me.
to be worried over me.
to be concerned about me.

i just need rest and lots lots of sleep.
well, after this, going stomping, chatting then
do english homework (no ss tmr).
then .. well, survive the rest of tomorrow.

friday,
jason's TUTION!
YEAHHHH(:

&thursday.
valentine's day.
(:
ME AND LAOGONG's 5th MONTH ANNI.
ILOVEBITCH, AND BITCHLOVEMEEE.
:DDDDD!
ILJKTX.
and she loves,
SLFTPY.
(:

lovelove,
in th air.
but not for me.
and never, ever will it be for me.
(:

listening to love songs, reminds me of the past.
the sweet things that you used to do for me,
the beautiful incident that made me meet you,
the pranks i played on you,
the bad things that made me sad because of you,
the amount of time i took crying over you,
getting over you, and getting back on my feet.

i'm not missing you,
and ..
i need to convince myself that my decision was right.

bleedinglove,
what a song.
(:

end of post.