Sorrow.

today,
i finally understood "sorrow", the word that i have always seek to express in terms of english, and language, but now i really feel the utmost pain.

The feeling that nobody really understands you, and when you had tried to perform a task perfectly, nobody appreciates your efforts, but chide you, make you seem like a fool, like a kid who will keep crying to no end.

The bitter disappointment, felt when ur intended desire was not met.
The hurt, that bites you from within.
Feeling like somebody who nobody cares or loves about, just left alone.
/locked up.

i felt guilt today. It's like even those who used to heck care about examinations, those who will never say yes to studying is studying even more harder than myself, trying to make it go in mye. Yet i'm here, typing nevertheless, waiting for the arrival for my brother, complaining typically that the world is unfair, and 24hours a day is simply not enough.

sometimes, i find myself appreciating what others have. "Humans will never appreciate what they have, they only tend to envy others."

Yes, i admit that i'm guilty as proven..but seriously, you find somebody who has it all: great family members, smarts as in brains, and even beauty. You think you rather be them, so that you can appreciate whatever they got, which seemed to be wasted on them. And it ends up, you got even better than them.

I'm not naturally smart.
I'm dimwitted, careless, clumsy, and no sense of direction what-so-ever.
imperfect me((:

yet, i tend to do better.
why?
because i put in extra efforts to making sure that my goals are achieved.
and when they are, i feel a extreme sense of success and pleasure.

I don't have any talents.
I'm not good in anything at all.
Sometimes i feel that god wasted his time creating me.
Because, whatever i do, tend to be not enough.

I'm only slightly better in terms of ..
uhh, language.
because i love language.

Language is the way to express yourself, when you got no other way to speak out what you really think.