I kept my mouth shut from the start
I guess I left you in the dark
You thought you knew me but you don't
You say you'll love me but you wont
When you find out who I am

I kept my mouth shut for too long
All this time you got me wrong
Now we're in this way too far
I'm about to break your heart
Tear everything we had apart

'Cause I'm feeling lost
When I'm in your arms
The reasons are gone
For why I was holding on to you
I tried so hard
To be the one
I don't like who I've become

Won't keep my mouth shut anymore
I've had my share of closing doors
Now I know I'm not afraid
I know exactly what you'll say
But I'm sorry it's too late

'Cause I'm feeling lost
When I'm in your arms
The reasons are gone
For why I was holding on to you
I tried so hard
To be the one
I don't like who I've become

Yeah yeah, yeah yeah
(I kept inside of me for all this time)
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah
(Thought that I could make it work if I just tried)
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah
(But I'm sorry to admit that I have lived a lie)

'Cause I'm feeling lost
When I'm in your arms
The reasons are gone
For why I was holding on to you
I tried so hard
To be the one
I don't like who I've become

I kept my mouth shut for too long
Now I know that it was wrong

I wish I told you from the start
That this was never meant to last
We should've never gone this far

Won't keep my mouth shut anymore

-- The Veronicas "Mouthshut"

maybe, i should just accept fate.
Fate decreeds what is meant to be, and what is not meant to be.
looks like we just ain meant to be friends.

so hard, to believe that our friendship got strained just because of a few problems
is it, my fault?
is it because i simply can't be bothered to mantain friendships?
thats why all my friendships, be it close friends or acquaintances just break it off after sometime?
is it,
my fault?

common test part one is over.
(:
yay-ness!
two more to go!
chiong ba, ^^
i can do it!
believe in myself.

so ironical.
somebody once said the same thing to me,
and i didn't believe her.
...
i miss her.
come back to me, can?
i wish.
fat hope.

looking forward to monday.
ahhha! all the testpapers will be back by then!
don't worry, don't stress don't stress!

got back maths paper,
didn't do well, but frankly, better then expected.

its like my heart was beating, so fast when i saw the maths teacher,
sitting down, i was so nervous that i spilled water from my water bottle.
it's just a old problem that i can't rectify.
now inshirah and mary and all all angry at me ):
say i make them tense.
but i'm seriously am tense.
just at that moment, i wanted to dig a hole and bury myself inside.
either that, or find someplace.
one, a place that i can jump up and down, down and up, up and down, down and up back again, until i'm exhausted totally.
two, a place where i can scream out loud, and shout all that i want, until my voice is hoarse, whatever!

friendships,
are just that hard to maintain ..
felicia, watch your mouth. think before you speak, don't hurt others, don't give others the opportunity to hurt you either.

i don't want to get hurt anymore,
two in one year, is more then enough.
don't go close, i'll push you away.
my strong barrier can't withstand anymore outburst from the outside or the vulnerable inside..
sure i know, one day it will eventually break off,
but since i can i just want to have it, for a few more years.
no matter how strong i seem, it's just a facade.
if you know it,
inside me, is a badly damaged heart waiting for repair.
going to be repair, but the wound just open up and tear apart..

its okay if you don't want to tell me your closest secrets,
cause i'm scared that i'll get too involved in our friendship,
and end up getting more and more hurt when it ends.

i don't want that to happen,
ever again.

there's some people that i would like to say something to:

to irene & eiv:
IM NOT NOT EMO!
I'm humane ):
irene, xiexieni.
(:


to Asyraf:
thanks alot, i wouldn't know what to do without your encouragement. Though i don't approve of you setting such a low-self-confidence me as aim, i know you surely can do it. Do it once, and you can do it again. Jiayou! and all the best! Remember, there's this loner friend that will be there for you, no matter what. And thats' a promise! Strive for your goals and soar to greater heights! (:





-blank







promises, are meant to be broken,
who can assure me by giving me proof that, promises do stay?
friendships, are never meant to last forever,
eventually we all will separate one day, so why the pine in hope?
why giving us more reasons for further disappointment?
humane nature, will never change,
jealousy, envy will always engulf us.

i miss 2A'07.
time is passing too fast.
3/4 of the year is almost over,
and before we know it, we'll be saying goodbye to each other.
once again, sayonara, i'll miss you,
but do we really miss each other?
it seems like without anybody supporting us, we fragile humans will crumble, unable to stand up.
but when it comes to goodbyes,
its just one word, and you're gone from my world.

primary six, we promised to stay together, no matter what school or what stream we studied in.
but what happened?
eventually, the inital friendship become more and more cold,
now everybody is just random strangers.

"flames to dust, love to hate, friends to foes, acquaintances to strangers."

周杰倫 - 聽媽媽的話

小朋友　你是否有很多問號　為什麼
別人在那看漫畫　我卻在學畫畫　對著鋼琴說話
別人在玩遊戲　我卻靠在牆壁背我的ABC
我說我要一台大大的飛機　我卻得到一台舊舊錄音機
為什麼　要聽媽媽的話　長大後你就會開始懂得這種話
長大後我開始明白　為什麼我跑的比別人快　飛的比別人高
將來大家看的都是我畫的漫畫　大家唱的都是　我寫的歌
媽媽的辛苦　不讓你看見　溫暖的食譜在她心裡面
有空就多多握握她的手　把手牽著一起夢遊
聽媽媽的話　別讓她受傷　想快快長大　才能保護她
美麗的白髮　幸福中發芽　天使的魔法　溫暖中慈祥
在你的未來　音樂是你的王牌　拿王牌談個戀愛
唉　我不想把你教壞　還是聽媽媽的話吧　晚點在戀愛吧
我知道你未來的路　當媽比我更清楚
你會開始學其他同學在書包寫東寫西
但我建議你最好寫　媽媽我會用功讀書
用功讀書　怎麼會從我嘴巴說出
不想你輸所以要教你　用功讀書
媽媽織給你的毛衣　你要好好收著
因為母親節到時我要告訴她　我還留著
對了　我會遇到了周潤發
所以你可以跟同學炫耀　賭神未來是你爸爸
我找不到童年寫的情書　你寫完不要送人
因為過兩天你會在操場上撿到
你會開始喜歡上流行歌　因為張學友開始準備唱吻別
聽媽媽的話　別讓她受傷　想快快長大　才能保護她

:]