i'm stressed.
i don't know what i am doing anymore,
everything just phewwwt and goes away one after another,
today abshiek (dunu correct spelling) and daniel stress me in ss sia
walao, i only use example nia, next time want stress, one person stress can okay,
i almost felt that i couldn't breathe.
it was just too much, this sudden pressure ..

dunno whats been going around, what's been going on,
i'm usually the last person in the world to know everything else.
i have gotten too used to the feeling of being wanted, being a friend,
so much that i can't get used to being neglected, being ignored,
that it's just me, and all along, it's all about me and my problems,
i ignored everybody completely, ignored their feelings, how could i..
hais

i screwed up, badly.
damn damn damn.
why couldn't i just control my fucking temper?
it's getting the better out of me.
i hate them.
who do they think they are?
how could they just do it, and just get away with it?
why couldn't i have controlled my temper,
it just spoiled my mood bigtime.
i'm no longer in any talking mood.

i discussed with jasmine after collecting the stuff..
dunno, it seems like just then im out, i dunu what im talking about..

what have i learned?
what have i applied?
it seems like all i do is just to listen.
and listen.
and talk.
and listen.
and talk.
i cna't stand it.

my brain is bursting out loud...
stress engulfing me.

monday, f&n, chinese spelling and physics.
great, woohoo -sarcastics.
how am i going to manage my BLOOODY TIME?
7/8 cooking competition, 4/8 hand in recipe?
WTH?
25/8 cooking examination.
12 - 21 common test.
screw it.

damnnit.
i hate myself.

..
after what she said,
i got no appetite for eating.
dunno why.
everything seemed just so distant.

friendships.
are they just as fragile as i thought?
one soft touch, and thats the end of it..
whatever happened to the word, forever?
forever friends, forever steaddie, foreverfriends?
it seemed too away for me to comprehend.

why do people just continually hurt each other?
why don't they just let go of each other?
why don't they just simply, forget everything else?
and just believe that it's enough to have such a friendship?
WHY NOT?!

i'm still missing her.
the empty void in my heart muses, and muses,
yet nothing is done.

what have i done?!
what have i learned this past few weeks?!
what have i practiced?!
nothing, practically nothing

i hate life.

i'm losing my mind.
deranged animal.