Broke

I'm heartbroken,
I don't know what to do,
what will help,
what will make me give up,

how to forget,
how to move on,
how to continue,
how to get over,
you...

i loved you like shit,
ridiculous right
it's all virtual stuff,
hnin was right,
i put too much emotion in habbo,
then fine,
i'm going to be icecold,
make sure nobody has a chance to hurt me ever again.

maybe,
i did fall in love,
with the wrong guy.
again.

i want to forget you so much,
to let you go,
to move on,
so much that it hurts even more.

i still remember my reaction,
numbed,
confused,
irritated,
emo-ed,
cried.
countless times because of you.

I was confused why u acted as a girl,
to ditch me? might be.
but what shit is tt to tell me tt breaking up now will be less hurting?

If you break up now, it would hurt, or even later, just hurt more,

why didn't you break up before?
Because wo men bu pei?
kfine, then i'll use the excuse to ditch guys.

i cried in sch when clarine amanda pooiyan and joyce played t or d and asked me about you.
i emo-ed in school, sit in one corner, stare at the azure blue sky and think about you.
if tts what you mean by less hurt, so be it.

i don't know why i still cry.
it's been 3days,
3fucking days,
on our one month wedding anniversary.
you don't care right.
obviously, i was the one who was thinking.
one sided love sucks.

i don't understand the turbulence in my heart,
why i still feel sad to hear you say all these,
why i feel reluctant to part our ways,
why i still wanna patch.
why i want to leave whenever you're there.

tell me what you wanna do now,
i seriously don't get it.
first we break,
kfine, i was the one who initatied the breakup,
but it's because of what you did,
secondly, i be friendly to other guys,
you bs,
what you mean sia.
they're my buddies what.

much as i hate to admit it,
i'm not your FELI anymore,
not yours,
you're not my JER anymore,
not mine,
i'm not whoever important to you already,
i'm not somebody important to you,
i'm not even a ex to you,
cause i practically don't exist in your world.
your world means so much.
i'm not anybody tt means something to you,
i'm just one of those girls,
one of those girls in this fucking stereotypical world.
who means next to nothing beside you.
right?

then, fine,
stop caring,
i'll forget.
i'll get over it.
i'll move on,
if tts what you want.
otherwise,
i don't know what am i supposed to do alr.

sorry janice,
i didn't know you damn stressed over pa,
me and jer tt prob hai ni le,
sorry
so sorry.

going out with hnin later,
hope my spirits will go up.

Bye.