sian-ed

there's a foreword for this:

" I'm glad tt i'm still alive "

seriously,
terribly,
true.

i have no idea whats going on,
at all.
i feel like a netherneal or whatever it's spelled anw.
i'm tired.
and sick.
of pretending tt's nothing wrong,
everything's all fine and well.

what a faker.
-fakes a smile,
see it's so easy.

i miss everybody,
i seriously,
seriously,
do.

today woke up tooo late for ccca fair.
got late.
din eat anything, brush teeth, tie hair wait for bus.
melissa scolded me like fuckxz.
yeah, it's my fault.
sorreh all.
i pull-ed you guys down,
from today onward yuliah taking care of key.
felt not too well after running to take th cage.
was talking to miss yap halfway,
and blank-ed out.
like i didn't know what was going on,
where i was,
what i was doing
my mind,
started letting me see purple blue,
everything was a blank.
my ear shut off th noise band and volleyball was making,
i was scared,
i couldn't see anything.
i'm scared,
i might die anytime.
tt was what i was thinking,
if i was gone,
would anybody shed a tear?
probably not.

everything was in a blur just then.
i went to th toilet.
strangely,
my sight returned.
then i walk-ed out,
clar and manda like very scared.
then i sat at th table,
thinking what had happened,
my stomach hurt like hell then
miss yap gave me money to hail a taxi and go home.
i nearly fainted.
i guess.
then mom still can joke,
i was scared.
sweating all over,
but rested.
and is fine.

i hate shuqun.
frankly.

i have no idea why th hell am i inside this school.
i feel like a freak in my class.
fucking freak.

damnit.

th only freak who got a for english.
th only freak who stopp-ed smiling.
th freak who,
forgot how to smile.

now whenever i think about things,
i start to cry.
:l
dunno what's wrong.

we had sweet memories.
in class 2A,
curse th bloody sch for not letting us split in sec2, it would be great
no feelings attached.
=/

then.
i feel like a freak,
cliques splitting up.
i talk to kirin and cheryl and they all,
but.
however, it's not like nith abi hnin they all.
strangely.

th lessons went quite well,
uh huh.
interesting teachers,
i ..
scared tt.
i might hate english.
from then on.

talk-ed th 'rents,
they said it was okeh.
hais.

i feel dumb.
i saw shilin shikai they all at th prize presentation thing.
feel so idiotic.
so dumb.
):
i miss everybody

hai.
i'm felicia okeh.
th fakey one.
th freaky one.
th fucking one

yay,
say hi to meeee.

...

nothing to say.
byes.

ihatemyself.