Day.

To a certain someone:

I hope you're HAPPY now , after all the things that was caused by you. Dun get it wrong, I'm not MAD at you at all, instead , I'm drastically disappointed by your behaviour. So, great. Still ignoring me? Fine. You know what? I can't be bothered , lets wait until you stop ignoring me and learn to tolerate my presence? :DD.

Today I felt like I had no mood to do anything at all ; running or whatsoever crap Coach Joseph wan us to do .. I'm so fed up and angry at my own patheticness. I couldn't believe it when she told me about what she was going to tell Mr Tay.. how could she? I dun want *that thing* to happen and she knows it. Everybody will be very devastated when *that thing* happens. Even he lectured her on the good/bad points of *that thing*. But she still is obstinate and gets her way around as usual. Today I got my results. Nothing good as usual , just okay. I was very happy I have to admit, that they have improved since last year. Nithya meimei was about to murder me for winning her by 0.2 pts and one position. Then , she said it was for fun lol. English lessons? They suck. My row keep getting comments from the teacher. Poor Nith was targetted for doing NOTHING at all. Haiz. Anyway I have to thank the teacher for being NICE enough to point out our faults and .. teach us STANDARD english (I know, what a joke right?) .

I finally finished Howl's Moving Castle. It was filmed at October 2004 or 2005 if my memory permits. It's damn nice okay :DD. Love it! The ending was so different from the film but still awesome. Borrowed Mr Mystery 6th book: The Mystery of the Runaway Rebel and for a start , I read a couple of chapters on Wo Jiao Jin San Shun (My Name is Kim San Soon) =X , you know the show... :DD. It was different from the show though , but nice. Zeng Lao Shi , I'm following your instructions by improving chinese by reading that , although its fiction , its still a chinese book :DD.

I was kinda disappointed at Kenneth , he promised me. But he didn't follow his promise , I waited for him until now , still no sight of him online. He promised to help me with the web but now? Then , another Kenneth again, dunu what's going on with him. His so upset when his ex-boss ignores him , i can understand the feeling but dunnid so drastic right .. Then, jarelina. She's so cute and gullible. She been played out by a friend (or who she thought) but end up, getting used by her. I told her something secret that I never told anyone not even you-know-who. Haiz, now both of them ignore me and its' my fault? They are the live of 101degree? Oh, great. I'll resign okay , dun bother about the web , I rather do more meaningful things like , say , homework assignments , and what a big pile I do have: Art, Maths , Science , English and Chinese , continue the writing of the 'Secretly Falling In Love With You" and start on a new one with fancy-free or just wander about , play audi or maple or whatever hot game there is.

I got the mike working budden I still dun like it. 3 sensor holes for you to project your voice, hard right? have to hold the mike and talk ==". My voice sucks btw so dun bother =D. I skipped Coach Joseph's training for the fitness but I was really exhausted enough and nobody would run 2 km with me =( , postponed it to tmr (: Great, now i have to run 10 rounds outside my house , damn. (1 round 400m , 5 rounds 2000m aka 2km). It had better work out or else I'm gonna cry =(.

I miss my dear Nithya meimei ; hope she enjoy her holidays :DD.

Haiz about 101degree, I dunno what to do liaos. Abbie keep asking me to teach her how to make the web into .tk site but I dunno whether I should. She's still young la.

=.=

Signing off,
FELICIA THE PEST.

Delusionision

Sometimes I feel like I'm really drifting apart from you guys.

Today I was exhausted in the morning. To make matters worse, I had a bad stomache. It was definitely not a good start for the day. I could not go to the toilet as the assembly was starting ; I had to bear with it. Thanks for my darling meimeis who treated me nicely (: .

It didn't get better. But when georgina chin wants to speak with us , I felt so bored. Mr Tan gave us a couple of lectures of our behavious and our attidude. LOL. I felt so bad for mr tan , his like practically giving us lectures everyday he sees us lol.

Den miss chin lectured us on the NeWater trip luh. Pfft. I dunnoe whose the creator but since she made such a big empathesis on the name, I guessed it should be the creator of NEWater. Miss chin talked so long about the four national taps of singapore etc etc, partially briefing i guess.

Den after knowing that we could go for NEwater trip , I decided not to go , due to some personal matters. I stayed with Nith (1&2) , Inshirah and Mary. We all stay at library la. Den we went down to visit our dear class who were going. I went up first and read books. Den when I went down , they all gone. T.T . den I went with nith to eat luh. Finished eating, I decided I HAD TO SOLVE THE INDIGESTION PROBLEM.

Ah, went toilet. Damn paiseh okay. Cus had to go and ask the auntie to pass some toilet paper (>_<) . Den I finally realized that there were blue marks on my hand. I freaked out big-time , smsed abi that something weird happen. She go and sms me what happened denn called me , I said later show her.

Den at library , I saw the NCC Boys who were in school and in the library reading/playing/whatever stuff laah. I walked towards Nith they all and showed my hand. Abi was screening the whole thing , the message was Btch.ULOVE ... , very blur de. I still dunu how i get it from LOL, nobody write on my hand okay. NEVER GET PEOPLE TO WRITE IN YOUR HAND AHHA. Abi was reading Bitch and all that. Then, Inshirah didn't get it , so I said BITCH. Den they were all , laughing like dunu what. Cus they thought I call myself BITCH. LOLs, who sane enough will call themselves bitch? crazy peeps.

My friends are crazy but I still LOVE them :DD

Then Inshirah came to the conclusion that I accidently touched some stamp which had. I was still doubtful but i accepted that explanation as it sounded PERFECTLY -.- explainable.

Then we went down to mdm rajes to beg her to lend the laptop to watch show ; boring lei. Den, we went to make fun of mdm teresa which was actually a very nice lady , our new sch librarian teacher. They did , after reading den I DID. I confess !! It was fun >:D.

Den we went down to get food (ice-cream) and started chatting , saw some of the netball girls they were in their jersery (0.0) they were fast. Netball doesn't begun until more den 2 hours later? LOL.

Den class 2A was back , we all talked talked etc den went back luh. It was fun definitely without going for NE Water. From huimin's blog (tanhuimin) , georgina chin actually said , "History is all about the past and geography is still in the making .." Making me feel like (=.=) .

I saw what somebody wrote in her blog. I wasn't upset but I understood. She posted on the 20th of March. Quoted from her blog , "as for felicia tan. you're just irritating as a pest , therefor everyone's ignoring you.you sended de same so called private message to roxy and me :o and de SAME sms. woah nice. PEST."

Thankyou for TALKING STRAIGHT TO THE POINT. Great , thanks alot. For comparing everything that I sent to roxy and you. I'm not ANGRY/JEALOUS or whatever , but I am just kind of piffed off. Thanks for calling me a PEST.

Felicia aka the new PEST.

WHY?

Why is this happening?

I still CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

I feel like that time I tio confront by the 3 malay girls after the stupid biased teacher.

I feel like I can break down anytime soon.

If crying can resolve everything , I'll cry everyday and anytime.

Why are humans so competitive?

Why are humans so mean to resort to such means just to WIN?

I dun wanna believe this is happening to me ..

I dun wanna believe this is REALITY .. WHY?

WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO DO THAT?

WHY CAN'T SHE BE HAPPY?

WHY CAN'T SHE BE SATISIFIED WITH WHATEVER SHE'S GOT?

WHY IS SHE SUCH A PERSON?

IS SHE SO HAPPY TO DESTROY EVERYTHING?

WHY IS SHE SUCH A MEAN PERSON?

WHY CAN'T SHE JUST LET GO OF THINGS?

WHAT'S THE POINT OF WINNING (WHEN YOU LOST THE BASIC FUNDAMENTALITIES OF A HUMAN?)

WHY IS SHE SO DESPERATE TO WIN?

AND WHY WHEN SHE WINS , HER OUTER EGO IS BIGGER AND LARGER?

WHY DOES SHE JEER AT PEOPLE WHO LOSE TO HER?

I really dun understand her.

Why can't she just let go?
Why can't she just be nice for a change?
Would it hurt even once to save her pride?
Why must she be so proud and arrogant?
Why can't she treat competition as healthy competition?
Why must she be so prideful of her achievements?
Why is she so bent on getting her needs ?
Why is she so bent on losing friends just because of such little matters like academic excellence?

I know she's not the main purpose to why that thing is happening.

From what I written , you must think that I'm jealous of HER, but I'm NOT. I rather be me den HER.

Felicia.

P.S. I hope that "thing" does not happen at all .. hopefully .. if that "thing" happens , it would be a disaster. Everybody will fail their subjects and SHE will be the overall WINNER, if thats she wants.She will get what she wants.The cycle would be disrupted.

Ode to Friends

I have realized lately that more and more of my friends are lost, away from me.
Or simply, ignoring me. I didn't mention it cus I dun wanna hurt anybody's feelings.
It's always I approach by saying,"hihi/yo/whatever greetings" and end up with no response or even worse, offline. I dunno what happened to all of my friends now .. are they drifting away from me? I have no idea. This post is specially dedicated to four of my dear habbo friends and my other friends as well.

Msg to Friends:

It's not that I dun appreciate you guys for being there for me when I need you
Sometimes I dun even understand myself
When I find myself 'out' , I keep quiet and do not say anything
Sometimes its like I'm just this eccentric freako with spectacles around
I know I can be overbearing sometimes
with me pestering people about and irritating people
I know I can haughty and arrogant
about showing off to others
I know I can be selfish and cruel at the same time
by not telling somethings that people badly wanna know
Sometimes when I realise people are getting away from me
becus they can't stand me any longer
I get upset and cry.

Actually: If I get too haughty/arrogant/ambitious/overbearing/whatever negative things, just tell me nicely , straight to the point , dun beat about the bush. I'll try to change. Afterall, nobody is born perfect. Tell me what is wrong and I'll try to adjust my behaviour/attidude.

The rest below are dedicated to four of my friends: Rebecca , Eddy [Kenneth] , Roxanne and Masterkiz [Kenneth]. The private messages to them have already been sent to their email, hopefully that they will read it.

Lastly, Message to the rest of my friends:

Friends ,
You are the guiding stars in my lives
You can tell me whats wrong and
I'll change for the better
I promise.
If you dun , and just keep mum
It's ain gonna work out for both of us.
There will be time when you are very very PISSED off at me ..
I know that , but you should at least tell me whats wrong and
I'll try to change.
I'm thankful for all your help
I'll learn how to be more independent.
Just dun give up on me and thats' all.

But a final

THANK YOU

FOR BEING MY FRIEND.

Signing off,
Felicia.