Post

"Stop and Stare" - One Republic.

This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move, I'm shakin off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands, just take the wheel...
And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can u see what I see

They're tryin to come back, all my senses push
Un-tie the weight bags, I never thought I could...
Steady feet, don't fail me now
Gonna run till you can't walk
But something pulls my focus out
And I'm standing down...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, you don't need

What u need, what u need...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Oh, do u see what I see...

--

so fast.
one week has passed, with its sorrows and joys(:
so stressful, finishing up the work at late night, waking up to feel like sleeping again, to be almost late one day.
as usual, i got a load of work again.
somehow, the mid-year is coming close.
and, my fears deepen.

today had history test.
it was easier then what i thought.
serious >;l
freaky thoughts.

in english,
somehow i had nothing better to do.
i thought of the past again,
the past i left behind and thought i could get over it, but i can't.
it just stays there, untouched.

i touched it.
inflicted pain on myself.
i deserve it? maybe.

Suddenly, my mind became brimmed with thoughts of the past.
I can't leave it.
Whenever i thought about it, i'll cry.
I nearly cried there and then.
I just stopped myself from crying.

Somebody said that, being happy is me.
but i'm not.

maybe, that person still doesn't understand me.
can't blame him.
at least mary knows, and feels.

i'm in a turbulentic moood.
once i'm have free time to myself, i'll think of the past again.

I hate to admit it,
but i'm missing you.

i miss the sweet times we had,
the bitter taste when we had quarrels,
the moments we had, chatting on the phone and all,
i just can't forget.

Why is it so hard to forget?
Memories ought to be erased and forgotten, right?

maybe its just wishful thinking on my part that we could be back the same way.

things has already changed,
nothing can be the same every again,
i understand that,
but i still can't help but hope that things will revert to the times of yesteryear.

I used to believe in promises.
I used to believe that friendships can be everlasting.
but ..
i don't think so.

maybe it's all for the best, i shall leave you with your life then.
sorry for intruding when i shouldn't have,
hurting myself more when i got in deeper.
the hurt just goes on and on.

do you know,
i can't just listen to a song that we once liked together, and don't remember?
i can't just leave it alone.

hais.

It's so superficial.
I'm not happy.
wo zhen de bu kai xin D:

I just close my eyes and pretend that it didn't happen to me, didn't affect me.
All i can do is just to smile and pretend that nothing happened.
Pretend that it's not hurting me.
Pretend that nothing happened.

I smile, because, i want others to be happy,
I fool around, and i am not ashamed of it, because, it makes people happy.

It's just a fake smile, from a empty heart.

Inside me,
is something that you'll never understand or realize.

--

I love my friends lahhhhxz.
huaiyue gave me a cute dolphin ruler ^^ and a wallet? (:
hnin gave me a love mugggg ^^
jean, yuliahh, weexin sun nu and shi li sun nu gave me something like a tag, damn nice lahh ^^.

ohyeah, today chinese watch CJ7, hahas, mdm tan buy the CJ7 toy, omggg, it resembles me of wugui lahhh, cute little thing.

"Stop and Stare" - One Republic.

This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move, I'm shakin off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands, just take the wheel...
And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can u see what I see

They're tryin to come back, all my senses push
Un-tie the weight bags, I never thought I could...
Steady feet, don't fail me now
Gonna run till you can't walk
But something pulls my focus out
And I'm standing down...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, you don't need

What u need, what u need...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Oh, do u see what I see...

--

so fast.
one week has passed, with its sorrows and joys(:
so stressful, finishing up the work at late night, waking up to feel like sleeping again, to be almost late one day.
as usual, i got a load of work again.
somehow, the mid-year is coming close.
and, my fears deepen.

today had history test.
it was easier then what i thought.
serious >;l
freaky thoughts.

in english,
somehow i had nothing better to do.
i thought of the past again,
the past i left behind and thought i could get over it, but i can't.
it just stays there, untouched.

i touched it.
inflicted pain on myself.
i deserve it? maybe.

Suddenly, my mind became brimmed with thoughts of the past.
I can't leave it.
Whenever i thought about it, i'll cry.
I nearly cried there and then.
I just stopped myself from crying.

Somebody said that, being happy is me.
but i'm not.

maybe, that person still doesn't understand me.
can't blame him.
at least mary knows, and feels.

i'm in a turbulentic moood.
once i'm have free time to myself, i'll think of the past again.

I hate to admit it,
but i'm missing you.

i miss the sweet times we had,
the bitter taste when we had quarrels,
the moments we had, chatting on the phone and all,
i just can't forget.

Why is it so hard to forget?
Memories ought to be erased and forgotten, right?

maybe its just wishful thinking on my part that we could be back the same way.

things has already changed,
nothing can be the same every again,
i understand that,
but i still can't help but hope that things will revert to the times of yesteryear.

I used to believe in promises.
I used to believe that friendships can be everlasting.
but ..
i don't think so.

maybe it's all for the best, i shall leave you with your life then.
sorry for intruding when i shouldn't have,
hurting myself more when i got in deeper.
the hurt just goes on and on.

do you know,
i can't just listen to a song that we once liked together, and don't remember?
i can't just leave it alone.

hais.

It's so superficial.
I'm not happy.
wo zhen de bu kai xin D:

I just close my eyes and pretend that it didn't happen to me, didn't affect me.
All i can do is just to smile and pretend that nothing happened.
Pretend that it's not hurting me.
Pretend that nothing happened.

I smile, because, i want others to be happy,
I fool around, and i am not ashamed of it, because, it makes people happy.

It's just a fake smile, from a empty heart.

Inside me,
is something that you'll never understand or realize.

--

I love my friends lahhhhxz.
huaiyue gave me a cute dolphin ruler ^^ and a wallet? (:
hnin gave me a love mugggg ^^
jean, yuliahh, weexin sun nu and shi li sun nu gave me something like a tag, damn nice lahh ^^.

ohyeah, today chinese watch CJ7, hahas, mdm tan buy the CJ7 toy, omggg, it resembles me of wugui lahhh, cute little thing.

happybirthday(:

today is the day(:
the day when i turn fifteeen.
yeahhhhhh(:

Thanks to:

Brenda
Juanjuan
Nithya MEI ^^.
Fiona
Huimin
HninHNIN bestieee ^^
Jingteck
Jolene
Xiaoqin
Guna
Lenny
Jasmine - emo partnerr
Pritesh
MingYun
Huai Yue - hao jie mei ^^.
Mary - and th lamb.
YULIAHHHHH((:
Kirin mummy
Elaineee,
Shuwei Jiejie<3.
KJJ,
SHI LI SUN NU<3
WEEXIN SUN NU<3
CLARINE NU ER<3
AMANDA NU ER<3
LERSIN,
MIRA,
PAULENE,
THIRI,
SERENA,
JOYCE,
HANHAN,
ROS (TWINNEH)
(sorry i can't just remember all)

-.-, confirm indigestion TT.
like want vomit want vomit liddat, then it continued from morning til afternoon.

parade square people were wishing meee happybirthdayyy(:
then, chiong hw, then history, at the corridor there, eiv started saying,"somebody's birthday today, she's gonna treat us pizzahut." then i was like o.O, i not that rich wor TT.
then in classs, yuliahh and the other girls started singing happybirthday hahhas, thanks(; , but abit ps lah.

then, um, it was well, chem.
nothing happened, except the wishing(;

then, recesss,
still feeling like vomit vomit.
in history also, sun nu they all worried, cause my face damn pale TT, cannot help it.
then eat food with yuliah, huaiyue, weexin(:
then later go up for mt, feel the vomiting again.
abit pale, then zao for maths, do finish le, zao for english.
english feel damn sick lah.
wlao, yihao switch with kirin. now i sitting with yihao TT, my mummmyyyy ):
after that, i got abit of hyperventilation outside the room,
when it was alright le, i started walking.
then later on, feel like vomiting again.
and i nearly did.
the thing came up to the mouth, i was holding firmly to the sink, so i didn't vomit, fortunately.
but damnn sick ):

then go and see my dearrr nu er,
all surround me and sing happybirthday ahhha(:
then later on, each gave me a huggeh(:
^^.
then, later wanjingjing go hit me, so hit her and on and on.
hanhan and ros gave me a plastic bag containing a hellopandaaa, chocolatepillow, fish slices (myfav),
later, walked with mira for the sake of losing time, around the whole school x4
last time with wanjingjing.
then go hnin house.
had a greattt time.
chatted loads,
exchanged work,
see old emails, regretting the past.
then go home le.
[;
later go ntuc buy stuff for cooking.
hnin gave me something sweeeeet(:, a box inside containing a mug and little messages.
awwwww, you're so sweeeeeet(:

ummm, guys, you might be worried just now in class, sorreh for making u guys worried, i'm alright now, don't worry ^^.

happybirthday,
sourfifteen.

:]

reflections,

hmmm, i talked to hnin yesterday, came to a few conclusions.

Life isn't unfair. Its' only the way that humans react and think that makes the world unfair.

If you think to yourself, how many times have you complained ever since you came to this world?

More then a thousandth, maybe a billion? Perhaps.

But, how many times do you ever consider the plight of thousandths in other places?

We're already very fortunate to have the luck to live in a place like singapore, where we get what we want, most of the times anyway: Higher education, better working opportunities, better standards of living, modernization in households, developed health facilities and health care.

Yet, we still complain anyway about the little things in life that bugs us.

There are people in the world, who has been in accidents, crippled, blind, yet they never complain.

I still remember a particular incident where i was complaining and somebody told me that.

No matter what, don't live with regrets, just go ahead with life and get used to what it offers.

--

Hmm. seems like quite a long time since i blogged, updated links (:

seriously, i'm not happy with my current life D;

i laugh everyday, like a crazy woman.
smiling everyday, hiding the hurt behind the forsaken smile.
i miss things, i wish they could be back to the same again, the good old times, but they're all gone.

it's just so easy.
to fake a smile, to put on a act that pretends that you're okay when you're not, at all.

smiling helps.
it helps to forgo the hurt that has gone across the face, the heart and the body.
it helps people to feel happier.

being careless and being caught doing silly actions didn't always hurt, and never will.
because, it helps to bring a smile to people's face.
why not?
a smile brightens others' lives.

i'm really very stressed out already.
i'm worried that i can't cope.
D:
but i'm trying my best.

i need, need, need rest.
but i never seem to find time for rest.
somehow it just goes on and on.

suddenly i find myself unprepared for whats' coming.
so fast that three months have passed, and now that my birthday is coming.
i still remember a pact i made with myself in secondary one.
one more year and i'll be out (:
yay.

seems like nothing has changed.
but people has changed, for th worst, th better, :]

i can't forget.
i can't stop remembering.
i still can't let go.
its' just something that i went deep in too far.
too far gone to get out of it already.
D:

wo bu kai xin.
D:

Post

i dont want to get attached to maturity.
the words you use are very chim and i get irritated when i see that kind of words like, stressed and over-exhaustion. too depressed to smile, too tired to laugh out loud, too dazed to say anything else.
I thought you'll get the hint, with your brains.

talk about hurting, this damn hurts.

What you don't know can really hurt you - theory proved.

i dont want to get attached to maturity.
the words you use are very chim and i get irritated when i see that kind of words like, stressed and over-exhaustion. too depressed to smile, too tired to laugh out loud, too dazed to say anything else.
I thought you'll get the hint, with your brains.

talk about hurting, this damn hurts.

What you don't know can really hurt you - theory proved.

holidays, not.

yay, school ended for the term.
i should be feeling happy, but i'm not.
somehow, from one innocent thing turned into another.
haiz.

okay, i STILL miss camp.
to the extent of bringing xiao wugui and monkey to school ytd.
i miss adlan.
i miss hsianzhuan.
i miss group 3, though we were only somewhat united.

got back results, didn't do as bad as i expected.
all passed, only one underline for chemistry test but overall pass lah.
all thanks to physics, mr ttc :D
well, scored highest for combined humanities and english.
yahooooo :D

speechday.
can i don't go?
it's no big deal.
just a prize for literature, eh.
zzzz.
i don't get why so many people are so enthusiastic over this thing.

after chinese, we had to clean our DEARRR classrooom.
pretty alright and left for home soon-after.
hais.

holidays, are meant for enjoyment.
but it seems that our teachers are using holidays as a plot to trick us into doing 3x our normal workload.
stress man.
each subject has it's homeworks, especially, maths, chemistry, mt and f&n.
wooo, thanks alot, mdm pauline fun for no homeworks,
and thanks mr ttc once again for minimizing the workload.
xiexie.

yeah, that's all.
and i'll not be leaving my private thoughts here anymore :D

45 tinqs a qirls want but wont ask fer .

45 tinqs a qirls want but wont ask fer .

1. Touch her waist.
2. Actually talk to her.
3. Share secrets with her.
4. Give her your jacket.
5. Kiss her slowly.

Are you remembering this?

6. Hug her.
7. Hold her.
8. Laugh with her.
9. Invite her somewhere.
10. Hangout with her and your friends
together.

KEEP READING

11. Smile with her.
12. Take pictures with her.
13. Pull her onto your lap.
14. When she says she loves you more,
deny it. Fight back.
15. When her friends say i love her more than you, deny it. Fight back and hug her tight so she can't get to her friends, it makes her feel loved.

Are you thinking of someone?

16. Always hug her and say I love you whenever you see her.
17. Kiss her unexpectedly.
18. Hug her from behind around the waist.
19. Tell her she's beautiful.
20. Tell her the way you feel about her.

One last thing you need to do to show er you actually do mean it.

21. Open doors for her, walk her to her car- it makes her feel protected,
plus it never hurts to act like a gentleman.
22. Tell her she's your everything - only if you mean it.
23. If it seems like there is something wrong, ask her- if she denies something being wrong, it means SHE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT- so just hug her
24. Make her feel loved.
25. Kiss her in front of OTHER girls you know !!

WE MIGHT DENY IT BUT WE ACTUALLY LIKE AND KINDA WANT YOU TO TICKLE US

26. Don't lie to HER.
27. DON'T cheat on her.
28. Take her ANYWHERE she wants
29. Text messege or call her in the morning and tell her have a good
day at work {or school}, and how much you MISS her.
30. Be there for her when ever she needs you, & even when she doesn't
need you, just be there so she'll know that she can ALWAYS count on you.

ARE YOU STILL READING THIS? YOU BETTER
BECAUSE, IT'S IMPORTANT !!

31. Hold her close when she's cold so she can hold YOU too.
32. When you are ALONE hold her close and kiss her.
33. Kiss her on the CHEEK (it will give her the hint that you want to kiss her).
34. While in the movies, put your arm around her and then she will
automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and
tilt her chin up and kiss her LIGHTLY.
35. Dont EVER tell her to leave even jokingly or act like you're mad. If shes upset, comfort her.

REMEMBER ALL THESE THINGS WHEN YOU ARE
WITH HER NEXT

36. When people DISS her, stand up for
her.
37. Look deep into her EYES and tell her you love her.
38. Lay down under the STARS and put her head on your chest so she can
listen to the steady beat of your heart. Link your fingers together
while you whisper to her as she rests her eyes and listens to you.
39. When walking next to each other grab her HAND.
40. When you hug her HOLD her in your arms as long as possible.

MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHES LOVED

41. Call or text her at night to wish her SWEET DREAMS.
42. COMFORT her when she cries and wipe away her tears.
43. Take her for LONG walks at night.
44. ALWAYS Remind her how much you love her.
45. Sit on top of her and tell her how much u love her and then bend
down to her face and kiss her while sitting on her.

You'll never know when she needs just a little bit more love

Camppeh

Today was the last day of camp.
omg, i really regretted on the second day for not appreciating the camp.
it was so enjoyable, yet so digusting, yet so horrifico, yet so sweeet.

first day,
we met the instructors: hsianzhuan&adlan.
didn't have a impression on them yet, so we settled down outside the hall for groupwork.
we were divided into two: groupw 3 & 4 , group names: P-nuts & Riot.
I was in P-nuts, instructor adlan.
did the group flag, and everything else, went down to eat lunch.
then went up to the hall and went to camp.
that afternoon, we setttled down in jalan batera.
learning cheers, sitting down on the floor, making noise.
we went to the field for multi-level captain ball.
fun, first round was a normal pe ball which is five points.
second round, a separ takaraw ball
third, a yellow pingpong ball.
fourth was AMAZINGLY, A RAW FROZEN CHICKEN.
LOLLLLL.
the chicken .. business was too damn funny.
i kept laughing until i got a stomache.
people were throwing around the chicken around the damn field.
then when it broke, i laughed even more. (cruel lol)
my group was lucky, somehow we would get the items co-incidentally without trying.
then went to hall for briefing.
after that, had dinner.
weirdly, their dinner was to be served orderly.
one group by one group come up.
the earliest group would eat up first, then serve the teacher's tables, then the students
then once all had gotten their food, we would do a hungry cheer.

It goes,
SHUQUN.ARE.YOU.HUNGRY?

Hungry, Hungry,
Very, Very,
Hungry Very,
Very Hungry,
Chickalakapi-ah-pi-ah,
Chickalakapi-ah-pi-ah,
Qia!

then later, we had a game of kidnap.
the person who was kidnapped was liyang.
cheryl solved the puzzle, and we waited for ahlan to come back with the search party.
following that, we went to play games like, butt-spelling, doing the cheer (let's dance now), kungfu masters, plucking hair and scissors paper stone before getting liyang out.
went bathe, and settled in for sleeping.

second day,
campfire preparation,
kayaking,
high elements.
candlewar.

i tried the high elements, it was terrifying and i couldn't balance well.
but fortunately i managed. Kayaking was damn fun. I paired with zsa zsa and we kayaked, then with the help of inshirah and weijie, i managed to balance our boat with theirs.
later on, we had to stand up on our boats, i was terrified that i will lose balance, and inshirah and amanda helped me. The candle war was fun though, the frustrating looks on people's face when their candles got blown out before they could even reach the ballooon to burst the opposition groups's balloons.

--

third day,
high elements,
rock wall climbing,
Absailing.
Campfire

nothing much to say but high elements was too terrifying for me to try. then rock wall climbing, after much persuasion i tried, with disastrous effects. I kept falling, but at least i touched half of the wall. Absailing i used that time to helped elaine, yimei they all to do their harness and chat with the rest of the peeps. I loved the campfire out of the rest of the above. It was so touching and yet so campfire-ish. We had performances and games and all that, then the truth came to everybody, that our instructors were leaving tmr and everything. I cried non-stop, remembering the fond memories, and everybody's efforts, and everything. Tried to stop, but couldn't. Then went to try pacifying jean, shili, angie they all not to cry when i myself was crying.
Realized i got rashes on my leg, had a tough time going up.

last day,
cleaning up.
we had to serve breakfast, omg, so cool la.
i was supposed to do the dustbin and ended up doing dishes.
zzzz.
but overall, fun.
then cleaning process, oooh, damn funny.
we had a water war, splashing each other with water on the other end.
then, we had hsianzhuan autographh, putt-ed in remarks for both hsianzhuan&adlan before reaching the school.

now, i really miss camp.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. HSIANZHUAN&ADLAN, YOU GUYS ARE MISS-ED BADDDDLYYYY! ):

BYE, :d



-

-

Qi Shi Ni Dong Wo by Chen Qiao En
我到底是谁
在你心中占有怎样的地位
你不说清楚
你让我们的爱坠在七里雾
爱 很讨厌
总是忽近又忽远的让人追
追半天 你连抱歉
一句抱歉也不给
我向前走 低着头 眼泪不停向後流
一直走 不回头 希望你会找到我
但是始终不如愿 希望都落空
我仍相信 其实你懂我
我发誓千遍
我这一走你就无法挽回
虽然心会痛
总比受尽委屈还要更好过我 等了等
脑海始终浮现你对我的好
好半天 你连Babe
一句安慰也不给
我向前走 低着头 眼泪不停向後流
一直走 不回头 希望你会找到我
但是始终不如愿 希望都落空
我仍相信 其实你爱我
一前 一後 你跟在我的背後沉默
Yeh…Yeh…Yeh…
前前 後後 希望你握住我的手
Yeh…Yeh…Yeh…Wo..Wo..Wo..
我向前走 抬起头 擦掉眼泪向前走
一直走 不回头 相信你会找到我
梦里寻他千百遍 希望都实现
我不想走 无法心不动
我向前走 抬起头 擦掉眼泪向前走
一直走 不回头 相信你会找到我
梦里寻他千百遍 希望都实现
我仍相信 其实你懂我
我向前走 抬起头 擦掉眼泪向前走
一直走 不回头 相信你会找到我
梦里寻他千百遍 希望都实现

Your Guardian Angel by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - Your Guardian Angel lyrics

When I see your smile,
Tears run down on my face.
I can't replace.
And now that I'm stronger, I have figured out,
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul.
And I know I'll find deep inside me,
I can be the one.

I will never let you fall. (let you fall.)
I'll stand up with you forever.
I'll be there for you through it all. (through it all.)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven.

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
Seasons are changing,
And waves are crashing,
And stars are falling over us.
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter,
I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall. (let you fall.)
I'll stand up with you forever.
I'll be there for you through it all. (through it all.)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven.

'Cause you're my, you're my, my-e-y-e-y,
My true love, my whole heart.
Please don't throw that away.
'Cause I'm here... for you!
Please don't walk away and,
Please tell me you'll stay... here!

Whoa-oh!
Stay!
Whoa-oh!

Use me as you will!
Pull my strings just for a thrill!
And I know I'll be okay,
Though my skies are turning gray! (gray! gray!)

I will never let you fall!
I'll stand up with you forever!
I'll be there for you through it all,
Even if saving you sends me to heaven!

I will never let you fall!
I'll stand up with you forever!
I'll be there for you through it all,
Even if saving you sends me to heaven! (fade out)