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Prelude to a post that I made today :

I miss everything in peps , even the guys and the teachers .

How i wish that I have never been born
It only brings misery to myself and others
How I wish that I wasn't human
to care for others before they do for me
How i wish tat I have never entered the school
which taught me all that I am now .
How i wish that I could jump down
and have nobody to care for me

I know its crazy and depressing but thats what I feel now .
I hate putting on a front to please ppl when I really feel like slapping them.
I do that not to invite trouble and trouble others who have to care .

Forgive and Forget ain so easy as its sounds .

Prelude to a post that I made today :

I miss everything in peps , even the guys and the teachers .

How i wish that I have never been born
It only brings misery to myself and others
How I wish that I wasn't human
to care for others before they do for me
How i wish tat I have never entered the school
which taught me all that I am now .
How i wish that I could jump down
and have nobody to care for me

I know its crazy and depressing but thats what I feel now .
I hate putting on a front to please ppl when I really feel like slapping them.
I do that not to invite trouble and trouble others who have to care .

Forgive and Forget ain so easy as its sounds .

Sian .

And so i say : Forget everything .

I realized only today . . Being a slow poke .. I was considering and wondering WHY . WHY . WHY me .

Then it suddenly dawned on me . I have been made used of . They thought I stupid . Two can play this game so why not 3 ? One beat me in one of my sub . Another beat me at another best subj .

HEarrtache , Heartpain .. Headache . I dunno what to do .

About HIM , I think I gonna forget everything about HIM already . Its tiring to keep a pretendence knowing that I know EVERYTHING .. yet have to pretend that I DUN KNOW ANYTHING . "

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Forget it forget it all .. forget him thats all i say ..

Bored to death . Today D&T wasted 1 hr and 20 minUTES , which is my RECESS tyme TO DO THE STUPID DT DRAWINGS . WTH la .Test hard enuff . Ask me to draw is like asking me to die lorhs .

today Abi very Bad!!! She frm HomeEc gt the glitter .. anihow bluff me that I got glitter in my hair . Scare me lehs . In the end angry with her .. never talk to her during the whole sci period .

Sleepy lols . Went to sleep long long like log like dat . I know exams are here but cnt resist slacking to sleep . haha .

AHHH

Still have hw . T.T . Aniwaes still looking FORWARD to one THING :
PEPS's TEACHER CELEBRATION !!!!! LOLS . I GO IN SCH UNIFORM BAHHS . Miss all the gals and guys in PEPS Class Last Yr . Hope they doing better than me . HAHS . Who am i kidding . Sure beat me 1 . I mean beat me at scores 1 .

Forget it forget it all .. forget him thats all i say ..

Bored to death . Today D&T wasted 1 hr and 20 minUTES , which is my RECESS tyme TO DO THE STUPID DT DRAWINGS . WTH la .Test hard enuff . Ask me to draw is like asking me to die lorhs .

today Abi very Bad!!! She frm HomeEc gt the glitter .. anihow bluff me that I got glitter in my hair . Scare me lehs . In the end angry with her .. never talk to her during the whole sci period .

Sleepy lols . Went to sleep long long like log like dat . I know exams are here but cnt resist slacking to sleep . haha .

AHHH

Still have hw . T.T . Aniwaes still looking FORWARD to one THING :
PEPS's TEACHER CELEBRATION !!!!! LOLS . I GO IN SCH UNIFORM BAHHS . Miss all the gals and guys in PEPS Class Last Yr . Hope they doing better than me . HAHS . Who am i kidding . Sure beat me 1 . I mean beat me at scores 1 .

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Oh great great great ... I should never have trusted you at all . What a bladdy fool am I .. Who am I to you ? A practical stranger .. You sound and look like a friend and in the end our friendship came to the end . Guess what . I hate you . What a smart little ***** you are .. u fooled me PERFECTLY . So what if I wanted the same url link as you .. Its is NOT CONSIDERED AS COPYCAT . I ask you , WHEN HAVE I COPIED YOU IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE BLADDY LIFE ? NONE . SO WHAT IF I LIKE TROUBLESOMEWORLD- OR BITTERSOMEWORLD- ? DOES IT HAVE TO DO WITH YOU . THINK AGAIN . I thought you were a TRUE FRIEND . And I told YOU ALL MY SECRETS . Great . NOW YOU TOTALLY TRUELY SHOWED YOUR TRUE COLOURS . Let me REMIND you . Who was the one who helped you when you were in trouble ? Who was the one who chatted to you when you were free and helped to advise you on certain matters ? Who were the one who didnt want to clone you but you insisted ? YOU . So what the **** has ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME . OKAY .. From now onwards , lets our friendship ties be broken . I couldn't care less . If you want it , thats the way it should be done and not hidden by me like how you pretended that you were my true friend and you were the one who stabbed me with a knife behind my back .

To others *NICE *GREAT FRIENDS - Where were you when I needed you ? Gone . Who were the one who helped you in times of need ? ME . When I outlived my usefulness , who were the one who started *****ing behind my back . Who threw me away like a piece of rubbish into a unlocated place .. YOU . Who were the one who blocked me for NO reason at all and I have not offended you in anyway AT ALL ? ..YOU .

I dun get it . Why the **** am I so concerned over this kind of people ?

Oh great great great ... I should never have trusted you at all . What a bladdy fool am I .. Who am I to you ? A practical stranger .. You sound and look like a friend and in the end our friendship came to the end . Guess what . I hate you . What a smart little ***** you are .. u fooled me PERFECTLY . So what if I wanted the same url link as you .. Its is NOT CONSIDERED AS COPYCAT . I ask you , WHEN HAVE I COPIED YOU IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE BLADDY LIFE ? NONE . SO WHAT IF I LIKE TROUBLESOMEWORLD- OR BITTERSOMEWORLD- ? DOES IT HAVE TO DO WITH YOU . THINK AGAIN . I thought you were a TRUE FRIEND . And I told YOU ALL MY SECRETS . Great . NOW YOU TOTALLY TRUELY SHOWED YOUR TRUE COLOURS . Let me REMIND you . Who was the one who helped you when you were in trouble ? Who was the one who chatted to you when you were free and helped to advise you on certain matters ? Who were the one who didnt want to clone you but you insisted ? YOU . So what the **** has ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME . OKAY .. From now onwards , lets our friendship ties be broken . I couldn't care less . If you want it , thats the way it should be done and not hidden by me like how you pretended that you were my true friend and you were the one who stabbed me with a knife behind my back .

To others *NICE *GREAT FRIENDS - Where were you when I needed you ? Gone . Who were the one who helped you in times of need ? ME . When I outlived my usefulness , who were the one who started *****ing behind my back . Who threw me away like a piece of rubbish into a unlocated place .. YOU . Who were the one who blocked me for NO reason at all and I have not offended you in anyway AT ALL ? ..YOU .

I dun get it . Why the **** am I so concerned over this kind of people ?

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Going crazy . Lunatic . Bonkers .

Listening to Daniel Powter : Bad Day .
Love that song ..

Ahh . I feel like panicking now .. Had some advice from dear darlink , daddy . Daddy says : Let out your own feelings . The problems with you is : You think about others feelings first before yours .

How he knows that . Tio Stun For Moment . I from pri1 cuz with daddy mammy , sister and korkor .. only know how to care for others .. not for myself . =.= . This is bad . lols . But what i strongly feel is : Be humble , apologise when you are in the wrong .. feel for others .. place your self in others shoes . Wrong ? Right ? No idea .

Went sourcing on bloggies which have shuqunites 1 . Angie they all . Angie is sooo sweet lols . Like chocolates .. except i dun intend to gobble her up . haha . Okay , let me stop crapping now . I went on www.stomp.com.sg and found a interesting poem ..



crush is likelove is love (duh)
below is taken from a chain letter...

In front of the person you like, your heart beats faster.
But in front of the person you love, you get happy.

In front of the person you love, winter seems like spring.
But in front of the person you like, winter is just beautiful winter.

If you look into the eyes of the one you like, you blush.
But if you look into the eyes of the one you love, you smile.

In front of the person you like, you can't say everything on your mind.
But in front of the person you love, you can.

In front of the person you like, you tend to get shy.
But in front of the person you love, you can show your own self.

You can't look straight into the eyes of the one you like.
But you can always smile into the eyes of the one you love.

When the one you love is crying, you cry with them.
But when the one you like is crying, you end up comforting.

The feeling of love starts from the eye.
But the feeling of like starts from the ear.

So if you stop liking a person you used to like, ally ou need to do is cover your ears.
But if you try to close your eyes, love turns into a drop of tear and remains in your heart forever ...

Sad but true huh . But I am still unsure larhs . No hope i know . So blur til cnnt differate between crush and love . haha .

Die lerrs .
lols .

Licia .

Going crazy . Lunatic . Bonkers .

Listening to Daniel Powter : Bad Day .
Love that song ..

Ahh . I feel like panicking now .. Had some advice from dear darlink , daddy . Daddy says : Let out your own feelings . The problems with you is : You think about others feelings first before yours .

How he knows that . Tio Stun For Moment . I from pri1 cuz with daddy mammy , sister and korkor .. only know how to care for others .. not for myself . =.= . This is bad . lols . But what i strongly feel is : Be humble , apologise when you are in the wrong .. feel for others .. place your self in others shoes . Wrong ? Right ? No idea .

Went sourcing on bloggies which have shuqunites 1 . Angie they all . Angie is sooo sweet lols . Like chocolates .. except i dun intend to gobble her up . haha . Okay , let me stop crapping now . I went on www.stomp.com.sg and found a interesting poem ..



crush is likelove is love (duh)
below is taken from a chain letter...

In front of the person you like, your heart beats faster.
But in front of the person you love, you get happy.

In front of the person you love, winter seems like spring.
But in front of the person you like, winter is just beautiful winter.

If you look into the eyes of the one you like, you blush.
But if you look into the eyes of the one you love, you smile.

In front of the person you like, you can't say everything on your mind.
But in front of the person you love, you can.

In front of the person you like, you tend to get shy.
But in front of the person you love, you can show your own self.

You can't look straight into the eyes of the one you like.
But you can always smile into the eyes of the one you love.

When the one you love is crying, you cry with them.
But when the one you like is crying, you end up comforting.

The feeling of love starts from the eye.
But the feeling of like starts from the ear.

So if you stop liking a person you used to like, ally ou need to do is cover your ears.
But if you try to close your eyes, love turns into a drop of tear and remains in your heart forever ...

Sad but true huh . But I am still unsure larhs . No hope i know . So blur til cnnt differate between crush and love . haha .

Die lerrs .
lols .

Licia .

Last . And Final .

I have jus finshed reading a blog of a friend who have yet forgiven me .. She sounds so sad now .. i feel so sorry for her .. really,i do . I admit now and here , I was really a selfish brat and bytchic girl . Although it was jus a mistake and a really bad misunderstanding , I do confess that it was all my undoing .. If only .. if only .. we had never made friends with each other and i had never messed up .. It wundn't be like what it is now .. I confessed with every fibre of my being , I just wanted to be a normal girl with friends .. and i told something that I never should have told anyone at all .. that is .. all my deepest darkest secrets that i hated to revealed to anyone since pri1 ...

I feel nothing .. like a empty shell in a mind .. I dun feel anything now . who cares anywhere . I should have just ignored those remarks and throw them away like rubbish .. which they are .

This may be the last post afterall .. since the grades i gotten are gettinig worse and worse .. I decided to study and stop blogging and coming online like what im doing now . Cuz my grades are getting lower and I am seriously slackin . Never , will I slack I told myself . Now i have broken the promise . I should just write in a diary hmmph ?

Thanks for all the advice - will always love and appreciate you guys .

D-E-A-D .

This blog will be considered as a D-E-A-D blog . Thnx .

Reality.

I hate to do this . You know what ? Facing the reality sucks . Totally . Believe me . Im a bit upset and depressed now . Cuz yesterday frisbee , my (wuyazui) was zipped open and I said the frisbee to drop to the ground which really did .. you were kinda mad and you said that the last thing that you would do to me is to slap my mouth . But today , you pretended not to see me or anything .

You know what ? Im really stressed down by the flowing process of common tests and tests coming through and all that revision that I couldnt be bothered any longer .. Im tired of doing all this . .doing all this stuff to help you .. to make you happy . Im seriously tired of you pulling all this stunts and antics to prove that you are better than me and trying to get what you want by hook or crook .If you want to prove that you are better than me , DO IT . Beat me by any score and I will be happy to take your challenge .

Just bloody leave me alone and stop making it out like im always the extra which you guys make me feel like . I find myself spaced out sometimes , staring in space to think .. From the start of the year , I already knew it . That I didnt fit in and will not ever fit in the popular crowd which you guys already formed before we even talked to each other at all .

Dexter is right . That we are not at all a united family .. more or less a united class at all . Tell you what . I rather stay silent for the rest of the days and talk to those who really care about me who really want to be their friend than to try my best at adapting to the enviroment .

I have been trying my best to adapt to the enviroment and become a person who can help others and not make myself a burden to all . Guess what . Everytime I try to do something , something will come out and spoil everything . I am sick of it . Totally . I have decided . I will spend my four years in this school and try to make my life a better one than go around moping about being friend-LESS .

Caring about what other ppl wanna talk . I rather they shut up and get the facts right before anyhow talking nonsense . Get a life , man ! You cnt just revolve your life around other ppl and continue gossiping all the way .

This may be my last post already as I gonna go gunbounding already .

Yours,
Felicia .

Present And Past ..

Have you ever had your friendship broken and had never every patched up with your friend ? I did . Im now suffering from the wrath of the broken relationship between two of us . Guess I am still a bit of stupid . Once broken , a relationship can never be mended . Same with us . You know what .. I still yearn for the day to be friends again , to chat and talk like nothing had happened between us at all .
Guess it is futile waiting for that day .. Its already over . How come I just couldn't believe it . Even if that day truely and really happened , I guess we couldn't patch everything up and forget all the bad stuff that really happened . Stupid of me , huh ? To yearn for something that is impossible to happen . I should like what some ppl say . : " Face Reality .. ". I just dun want . I couldnt stand it . The fact that we meet each other daily and just pretend that we didnt see each other . Let the truth be told , Im tired of waiting for that day . Im just wasting my time away .. imagining the impossible to happen . A relationship wouldn't work without two people to support it . Im sorry .. Im really very SORRY . SORRY . Stupid , huh ? I guess you wun come here to read at all . Just like water who keep flowing like you and mud that keep sticking to the ground like me . We dun match eachother in terms of friendship . Why should I care . I dun get it at all . I wish that I wun not care so much but I just do , automatically .
Should I forget everything that happened between us and like you , pretend that you are invisble and dun bother about anything u do or say unless its necessary . I hate this . I hate this stupid fate . Why .. WHY ? The memories keep flowing through my mind like it was just yesterday that we had met and all the time that we spent together ... But I know its not .. its over already .

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Apologies to :

People who have been reading : Sorry for the duhh experience and story . Its a real-life thingy .

To a person who misunderstood me on May 6 , 2006 : Sorry .. I can never stop saying sorry to you . Why did u misunderstand me? I was really not making use of you . Please forgive me for the pain and hurt it must have came to mind when you thought of me .

To a person who fully made used of me : Why are u mad at me?? I did nothing to you .. yet u used me to help you with ur school work and stuff .

To All my friends : Sorry for being a pain in the ass .. I may be hard at u sometimes and sometimes quiet because I just dun get what is going on in my mind . Im still scared of being hurt and made used of .. Im just tired and scared .

Yours ,
Felicia .
9:05 PM
Add

Ah Pek Versus Ah Pope .

Ah Pek Versus The Pope .

>>>>>>HOW THE CHINESE STAY PUT IN ITALY>>>>>>

*** (Ah Peh is just an oldman in chinese)>>>>>>

About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that all the Chinese had to leave Italy. Naturally there was a big uproar from the
Chinese community.So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Chinese community. If the Chinese win, they could stay. If the Pope wins, the Chinese would leave. The Chinese realized that they had no other choice. So they picked a middle-aged man named Ah Peh to represent them.Ah Peh asked for one condition to be added to the debate. "To make it more interesting", he said, "Neither side would be allowed to talk".The Pope agreed. The day of the great debate came.Ah Peh and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute. Then the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. Ah Peh looked back at him and raised one finger.The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head. Ah Peh pointed to the ground at where he sat.The Pope pulled out a loaf and a glass of wine. Ah Peh pull out anapple.The Pope stood up and said: "I give up. This man is too good. The Chinese can stay. An hour later, the cardinals were all around The Pope asking him what happened. The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the holy trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions." "Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all aroundus." He responded by pointing to the ground and showing that God was also right here with us." "I pulled out the wine and loaf to show that God absolves all sin. He showed me an apple to remind us of the original sin. He had an answer for everything. What could I do?"
Meanwhile, the Chinese community had crowded around Ah Peh. "What happened?" they asked."Well," said Ah Peh, "First he indicated to me that all Chinese had 3 days to get out of here. I replied to him f*@k off and not one of us was leaving.""Then he pointed that this whole city would be cleared of Chinese . I showed him that we are staying right here.""Yes, and then???" asked the crowd."I don't know", said Ah Peh, "He took out his lunch, and I took out mine!!!"