Post

i'm getting crazier.
i cried two days ago.
just thinking about all the things that have happened to me ever since i entered shuqun secondary school,
thinking about the biased treatments because I'm a shuqun student.
thinking about all the bullshit treatment i faced in secondary one;
thinking about the class allocation for sec3.

talked to a lot of ppl who cheered me out.
huaiyue for instance.
dhen talk talk talk, she understood.
cause i dun wannna be separated from my best buddies.
and i talked to nithya.
i couldn't control my tears you know.
just discussing the bare topic alone, made me very sad.
i mean, it's not fair that is based on maths and sciences or whatever la;
I know my own abilities.
I can't cope with too many subjects.
thats why i chose not to appeal for literature or for pure sciences.
what a bad choice i made in 2005.
the school wouldn't support the language kind of pupils.
hais.

-xEDIT [from janice]
i wish i could be dead.
i wanna leave the fucking school asap
i dun wanna see some ppl;
i thought i would be separated from the fktard treatment.
if it's like that, because of quarrels.
dhen i call principal say i have been bullied.
would they separate me?
i doubt not.
=l
been crying and emoing at times.
jerald have been there for me i admit.
just that,
sometimes,
i really hated the idea of vieing for attention.


i dunno what to say le.
since you wanna lie to me.
i dun give a damn.
because you're my friend.
but you chose to lie to me.
kfine.
i dun wanna hear any of the lies.

--

i was so fucking pissed off when i heard from him.
how did he know.
ended up a traitor.
you good
i trusted you.
janice trusted you.
end up,
we tio betrayed.
you should have knew.
I created this web is to prove our abilities.
that without his help we still can survive.
but i want perfection, not a perfect web, but at least lookable and you had to go and tell him.
kfine.
whatever.
what you expect me to do now.
can you make sure that you tell the ppl are secure?
just because his your exboss.
how about me?
you good.
bloody bloody damn well good.
it's a secret.
S-E-C-R-E-T hao bu hao.
not supposed to be revealed until we're ready
you know we got the problem of autorefreshing and some pages haven been done up, yet you go tell him.
i'm fucking pissed at you.
so is janice.
we never expected you to do that can.
now i can't trust you anymore.
you know it.
once, twice, thrice.
once bitten twice shy okay.

the web is doing fine.
for the moment.
shutting down all functions.
discussing.

leadership camp was amazingly fun.
we had lecture on leadership abilities.
drawing a animal of leadership.
there was LION, EAGLE, RAT [Rattatouille] , SPIDER and even ANT.
lmao, i was cracking up at rattatouille, that rat is so CUTEEEEEEEEEEEE;
LOLL.
dhen blahblah presentation.
Amazing race was fun.
siva, ezza, yongsheng, moi, one guy, Ros and two malay girls teamed up.
fun mah.
but we kena sabo-ed.
tio la.
stand in field walking about.
cause some red shirt basket tell us in the field.
-.-
van gough.
in the field.
wtf?
LOLLL.
we got second.
amazingly although we could get first ;l
nbm.

second day.
HOSTING AND ORGANIZING EVENTSSSS;
so damn funnehx.
enjoyed myself presenting
stupid questions like,
what if they broke a bone [ambulance duh]
what if kena disease [hello, think too much le ba]
LOLL.
cause sec3 camp mah.
group reaching sec3 le, obviously do that luh.
went for lunch.
omg luh.
ANNA IS SO BLOODYYYYYYY INSANE;
SHE CAN DRIVE A SENSIBLE PERSON TO CRAZE WITH HER.
LOLL.
i ate with michelle they all mah.
then eat instant noodles.
i eat halfway.
EHHH, why got ant.
LOL.
Anna and the rest freaked out.
dhen.
michelle instant noodles also got.
LOLL.
no wonder the shop so cheapo.
xD.
instant noodle + hot water = $1!
michelle treated.
yaaay ;x
dhen.
finish eating ma.
atiqah tell me a sb gross thing.
dhen later her bottle dropped to the ground.
anna freaked out.
tot her bottle.
i tell atiqah to dump it.
cause the owner dun want it.
dhen so ps can.
cause atiqah is the owner .
LOLLL.

go library.
kena insulted i hawny.
not my fault that sch got so many nc16 teenage fiction books.
LOLL.
cause michelle maybe borrowing.
dhen i was about to intro her the doremon.
the library mistress mdm teresa.
take the wooden stick
whack my butt.
pain lei.
dhen.
atiqah and the rest like grabbing wooden sticks want piak my butt when i turned behind >:D.
bad luh.
I senior tio bully by juniors.
LOLL.

last day,
played games.
TREES, SQUIRRELS AND EARTHQUAKE.
Separate into group of threes.
two stand up hold hand = trees.
squirrels sit inbetween the two ppl.
only one squirrel per group.
commands of earthquake, fire, hunter.
EARTHquake; all zao, reset positions.
FIREEE; trees run away find new partner. [flirt like de LOLL]
HUNTERRR; squirrel run away.
me and paulene very suay.
lose because of tanchoonkiat that basket.
LOL.
he squirrel never see us.
end up we eliminated.

next game,
Group War;
everybody divided according to birthmonth.
dhen.
divide into quartermonths.
like.
Jan,Feb,March = Chinese Warriors.
April, May, June = Red Indians.
July, Aug, Sept = Gangster
Oct Nov Dec = Cowboy.
damn funneh.
let me explain.
attack of indians; place hand on mouth to let the sound of indians.
defence; catch catch break.

attack of chinese warriors; ching chang chiong [warrior]
defence; bu yao [ mei ren ji, beauty trapp]

attack of gangster; wa... pui.
defence; eeyer...

attack of cowboy; [sound of horse]
defence; siam siam siam.

you know mr tan do the indian,
the sound damn xiang.
dhen.
he do the defence of chinese warrors damn ghey.
LOLL.

after that public speaking talk.
x.x
i go present, never do preparation.
sb ps.
dhen take bus home.
LOLL.

I learned a lot of things.

Qualities of a leader;
1. Responsible.
2. Resilient.
3. Respectful.
4. 100% commitment.
5. Humble (Role Model)
6. Motivator.
7. Integrity
8. Confident
9. Positive mindset
10. Teamwork.

lols.
thanks ms siti, mr darren ng and mr joshua tan.

i learnt alot.
:x.
had fun too.

love,

i'm getting crazier.
i cried two days ago.
just thinking about all the things that have happened to me ever since i entered shuqun secondary school,
thinking about the biased treatments because I'm a shuqun student.
thinking about all the bullshit treatment i faced in secondary one;
thinking about the class allocation for sec3.

talked to a lot of ppl who cheered me out.
huaiyue for instance.
dhen talk talk talk, she understood.
cause i dun wannna be separated from my best buddies.
and i talked to nithya.
i couldn't control my tears you know.
just discussing the bare topic alone, made me very sad.
i mean, it's not fair that is based on maths and sciences or whatever la;
I know my own abilities.
I can't cope with too many subjects.
thats why i chose not to appeal for literature or for pure sciences.
what a bad choice i made in 2005.
the school wouldn't support the language kind of pupils.
hais.

-xEDIT [from janice]
i wish i could be dead.
i wanna leave the fucking school asap
i dun wanna see some ppl;
i thought i would be separated from the fktard treatment.
if it's like that, because of quarrels.
dhen i call principal say i have been bullied.
would they separate me?
i doubt not.
=l
been crying and emoing at times.
jerald have been there for me i admit.
just that,
sometimes,
i really hated the idea of vieing for attention.


i dunno what to say le.
since you wanna lie to me.
i dun give a damn.
because you're my friend.
but you chose to lie to me.
kfine.
i dun wanna hear any of the lies.

--

i was so fucking pissed off when i heard from him.
how did he know.
ended up a traitor.
you good
i trusted you.
janice trusted you.
end up,
we tio betrayed.
you should have knew.
I created this web is to prove our abilities.
that without his help we still can survive.
but i want perfection, not a perfect web, but at least lookable and you had to go and tell him.
kfine.
whatever.
what you expect me to do now.
can you make sure that you tell the ppl are secure?
just because his your exboss.
how about me?
you good.
bloody bloody damn well good.
it's a secret.
S-E-C-R-E-T hao bu hao.
not supposed to be revealed until we're ready
you know we got the problem of autorefreshing and some pages haven been done up, yet you go tell him.
i'm fucking pissed at you.
so is janice.
we never expected you to do that can.
now i can't trust you anymore.
you know it.
once, twice, thrice.
once bitten twice shy okay.

the web is doing fine.
for the moment.
shutting down all functions.
discussing.

leadership camp was amazingly fun.
we had lecture on leadership abilities.
drawing a animal of leadership.
there was LION, EAGLE, RAT [Rattatouille] , SPIDER and even ANT.
lmao, i was cracking up at rattatouille, that rat is so CUTEEEEEEEEEEEE;
LOLL.
dhen blahblah presentation.
Amazing race was fun.
siva, ezza, yongsheng, moi, one guy, Ros and two malay girls teamed up.
fun mah.
but we kena sabo-ed.
tio la.
stand in field walking about.
cause some red shirt basket tell us in the field.
-.-
van gough.
in the field.
wtf?
LOLLL.
we got second.
amazingly although we could get first ;l
nbm.

second day.
HOSTING AND ORGANIZING EVENTSSSS;
so damn funnehx.
enjoyed myself presenting
stupid questions like,
what if they broke a bone [ambulance duh]
what if kena disease [hello, think too much le ba]
LOLL.
cause sec3 camp mah.
group reaching sec3 le, obviously do that luh.
went for lunch.
omg luh.
ANNA IS SO BLOODYYYYYYY INSANE;
SHE CAN DRIVE A SENSIBLE PERSON TO CRAZE WITH HER.
LOLL.
i ate with michelle they all mah.
then eat instant noodles.
i eat halfway.
EHHH, why got ant.
LOL.
Anna and the rest freaked out.
dhen.
michelle instant noodles also got.
LOLL.
no wonder the shop so cheapo.
xD.
instant noodle + hot water = $1!
michelle treated.
yaaay ;x
dhen.
finish eating ma.
atiqah tell me a sb gross thing.
dhen later her bottle dropped to the ground.
anna freaked out.
tot her bottle.
i tell atiqah to dump it.
cause the owner dun want it.
dhen so ps can.
cause atiqah is the owner .
LOLLL.

go library.
kena insulted i hawny.
not my fault that sch got so many nc16 teenage fiction books.
LOLL.
cause michelle maybe borrowing.
dhen i was about to intro her the doremon.
the library mistress mdm teresa.
take the wooden stick
whack my butt.
pain lei.
dhen.
atiqah and the rest like grabbing wooden sticks want piak my butt when i turned behind >:D.
bad luh.
I senior tio bully by juniors.
LOLL.

last day,
played games.
TREES, SQUIRRELS AND EARTHQUAKE.
Separate into group of threes.
two stand up hold hand = trees.
squirrels sit inbetween the two ppl.
only one squirrel per group.
commands of earthquake, fire, hunter.
EARTHquake; all zao, reset positions.
FIREEE; trees run away find new partner. [flirt like de LOLL]
HUNTERRR; squirrel run away.
me and paulene very suay.
lose because of tanchoonkiat that basket.
LOL.
he squirrel never see us.
end up we eliminated.

next game,
Group War;
everybody divided according to birthmonth.
dhen.
divide into quartermonths.
like.
Jan,Feb,March = Chinese Warriors.
April, May, June = Red Indians.
July, Aug, Sept = Gangster
Oct Nov Dec = Cowboy.
damn funneh.
let me explain.
attack of indians; place hand on mouth to let the sound of indians.
defence; catch catch break.

attack of chinese warriors; ching chang chiong [warrior]
defence; bu yao [ mei ren ji, beauty trapp]

attack of gangster; wa... pui.
defence; eeyer...

attack of cowboy; [sound of horse]
defence; siam siam siam.

you know mr tan do the indian,
the sound damn xiang.
dhen.
he do the defence of chinese warrors damn ghey.
LOLL.

after that public speaking talk.
x.x
i go present, never do preparation.
sb ps.
dhen take bus home.
LOLL.

I learned a lot of things.

Qualities of a leader;
1. Responsible.
2. Resilient.
3. Respectful.
4. 100% commitment.
5. Humble (Role Model)
6. Motivator.
7. Integrity
8. Confident
9. Positive mindset
10. Teamwork.

lols.
thanks ms siti, mr darren ng and mr joshua tan.

i learnt alot.
:x.
had fun too.

love,

today

suddenly i feel a nagging urge to blog out feelings.
i have no idea why.
i feel like god is playing me or something.
i'm really tired.

i miss all my p6 friends.
i miss hnin.
i miss huaiyue.
i miss everybody.
just not me.

i know that we're drifting apart;
i could sense the gap inbetween us;
i tried to closen it up.
you know whenever we have this kind of chat;
my tears will fall.
because, somehow, when it comes to you,
i have no freaking idea what i should do.
i need help.
i need cousellor.
who wanna help me now you're gone?
seriously,
if this is about him.
because.
i know he cares a lot about you.
same as me,even more.
it's so ridiculous isn't it.
i really enjoyed every moment.
its like brenda and cherlyn now.
i feel like pulling all the plug.
I used to joke about our friendship.
how bloody ridiculous is that,
we could never meet?
i believed.
now i get all rigid.
jealousy? might be.
but i just want you to know.
i'll be there for you.
whenever you need.
sometimes i feel as if you pangsehed me.
seriously.
i didn't voice it out.
because everything we iron out things,
we end up fighting.
i hate fighting.
i hate the sound of violence in it.

i look back on my memories
sigh at how far i have gone.
from using intelligent english to simple english.
have my standards dropped?
i have no idea.
if there was a option to stop studying.
perhaps i will.
i love to get busy.
when i'm bored i can't do anything.

i'm scared of changes.
i have a fear of fear.
maybe i'm scared that things will never turn up the same.
i got self-pressure i admit.
i fear of losing.
really.
i cried when i thought about my mathematics.
i promised to do better each year.
i did,
but.
i lost all the friendship.

i'm scared of how ppl view me.
damn bloody scared.
i have this need for acceptance.
i wanna be accepted.
it's like i'm so out.
social outcast.
the only one maturing.
the only one with white hair.
because of my size,
i have been bullied.
&
sunken into depresssion and grief.
now i have shrugged off 5kg,
yet.. i feel not at peace.

i'm no longer the felicia i am.
the cheerful smiling girl you knew in pri sch.
has turned a girl hanging on a sad smile.
smiling fakely on the outside.
crying out on the inside.
i'm just a godknows puppet.
for other ppl.
i have no career options.
i dunno where i might go.
i wonder how i might fare.
go ite?
maybe.
i keep crying these days.
i miss the good old days.
catching in the caferia.
having good old fun.
sneaking out.
now it's all gone.
as plain as day.

Booyahs'

alright;
received channelling results;
not happy with it.

:D

History with SS;
F&Ns.
Sec3A;
sadsad.
3B supposed to be better;
they split by ppl taking pure sciences and a maths.
saddd ):

Hnin leaving;
hais.
Abi leaving;
hais.

The class split into two,
not even equal de lorrr :D
I will definitely miss you guys;
how am i supposed to cope with sec3 next yr?
it seems like a group of strangers together in one class.

Haven look at booklist;
I mean,
bought thingys.
:D

Next class outing all must go wor.
27th nov [Tues] 3pm meet at clementi mrt worrhs.
all must go hor.
or i chopchop.

Got emo after what somebody said,
I seriously got hurt.
I didn't expect him to say all these kind of things.
I'm beginning to regret.
Maybe that decision was wrong;
he belonged to somebody else anyway;
who am i to steal him from her?
hais.

RFBs.
faced two RFBS;
Ridiculous Fharking Bastards.
who insulted me.
&was so hum to leave convo first;
let's not quarrel anymore;
and have peace :D
they left a tag at my blog;
if you're interested seesee.

One day i might post the whole convo;
i posted half and they were not happy;
LOL;
maybee oneday.

Tried accessing habbo with no success.
decided to write something.

"HeartBreak Tragedy"


She stands there alone,
By the sea crying,
Her heart screaming out in pain,
Recalling his betrayal with another girl.

She couldn’t believe it at first,
Not to say accept it,
That he was throwing away their relationship
For another girl he had just barely met.

Her heart broken,
She ran to a place of deep isolation,
Crying out each tear desperately,
Recalling shared memories,
Each bitter and sweet in their own way,
How they spent days together.

She loved him from the start,
From the beginning til the end,
She waited for him,
Trusted him wholeheartedly,
What happened;
Eventually ended up a sad tale to tell.

They were the perfect couple,
You wouldn’t see one without the other,
Hands holding together,
They once promised,
Never to separated, to be together throughout the end, no matter what.
What a lie.

He may seem a klutz at things,
But it was just another part of him that she loved so much,
He may throw insults at her
She wouldn’t care,
Because she adored him,
Blinded by the love she had for him.


He was the One for her,
She thought.
And bitterly as it may sound,
It was not meant to be.
It was just a one-sided affair.

Her heart broken badly,
Dreams crushed,
Tears falling one after another,
She stared at the big wide sea,
Without any hesitation,
She lunged into the sea,
And ended her life of misery.

--

Crappehs right?
I told you i was damn bored;
=D

There is a prologue to this;
in rainzzo's chill roomeh.
I did it in a moment of boredom too;
maybe one day I'll post it too :D

--

Hypocrites are never to be trusted, no matter what. One moment, they maybe be on your side, and the next moment, with the opponent. You give a chance and let her get close to you, the person most hurt is you in the end. Neverending fibs will continue on and on, until you find out the real truth and leave her, sad and betrayed.

i love you
i seriouslyseriously do.
too much that,
i care too much for you.
i worry about you all the time.
it's so surprising that because of me pranking on you,
we became good friends
and finally this.
how ridiculous can this be?
I'm in love with a stranger.
you have no idea how much i was enthusiastic to know that you liked me too.
hais.

Dedicated to somebody;
"(Aqua Timez' Alones, Bleach 6th opening.)"

Your fragile, frozen wings
are just tired from the pale blue sky;
You don't have to force your smiles for anyone;
it's okay to smile... for yourself.
Hearing your sweet voice didn't always hurt
It's too late to block it from the inside;
I wanna take back our time, but luck and karma are against me
There are no words, but your eyes can't hide what you want to say
I don't even know anymore...
Try to bury it deep down, okay?
We don't need that sky if we're free to swim
Even if you won talk about yesterday;
I'll still be there to meet you tomorrow
Your fragile, frozen wings
are just tired from the pale blue sky;
You don't have to force your smiles for anyone;
it's okay to smile... for yourself.

Post

Removed the previous post.

:D

Due to discretion and a pact.

Hmm, bored out.

Removed the previous post.

:D

Due to discretion and a pact.

Hmm, bored out.

Senotsa

yesterday I finally experienced sentosa.
Yeah, it's my first time there.

Let me recount what happend.

Netball
--

Coach made me walk 2km;
dhen,
I did the powersets with them except for one which I'm not clear.
I managed to do 2minutes of tortoise okayy;
dhen.
Did the warmdown with them.
Rushed down with yuliah to change.
firstly wore jeans.
dhen change back to shorts.
dhen keep taking yuliah comb to comb my wild hair hahaha.

--

Meeting Hnin.
--
well, toook bus to interchange.
meet hnin they all.
they were siaos?
say what chiobu.
-.- bo liou.
dhen.
say i look thinner and more confident.
nah. confidence is not a virtue I have.

Sentosa express;
--
nobody really changed.
except jordan got taller.
god damn taller
*^@(#*)%#&@#&)$%#@&#
he used to be shorter dhen me.
-sobs.
I cut my hair? ROFL.
nothing much else ehhhs.
xD

Sentosa
--

Wore kirin slippers.
ppl were forcing me in the sea.
I scolded them.
cause I wearing later the slippers dissappear now.
dhen went up with huaiyue cause i wanted go toilet.
dhen walkwalkwalk.
lucky finally reached.
curses to the sentosa people who made the toilets so far and LOCKED them.
-swears.

dhen spent time in the sea.
sitting there staring at the big wide sea;
lost in the melancholy of time.

dhen one time or another,
hnin wanted me to float.
so she and huaiyue carrried me down.
end up.
I nearly drowned.
head bobbing up and down,
gulping lots of seawater.
struggling in the sea.
i told her that i can't swim.
its dangerous for nonswimmers like me.
so I just got up.
sit at the waves there.
low tide.
ppl were like asking me whether I'm alright.
=.= obviously I'm okay. -.-

joshua tan came.
I grouped with kirin, weiquan and joseph, liyang..
quite fun lah dey.
dhen.
we won.
toberone chocolates wooohoooo.
dhen water bomb session.
me asyraf were like throwing each other with sand.
dhen eiv and daniel also.
I was like sandysandy.
so i went into water to wash away -.-
my pocket seems to carry huge amounts of sand each time I leave the water;
frustratingly.

so, later I decided I had enough.
went to bathe arduh.
how dumb am I?
not to bring slippers at all.
-.-
and not sufficient clothing.
suffering .
dhen spent $3.50 on food .
rofl.

supposed to spend $5
end up spent $9
$2 lunch.
$3.50 dinner.
$0.50 can drink
$3 ride to sentosa.
*^@#)#@%#&@#%@#%&@&##@&$(@

came home tired.
tio ban one day computer.
-.-
i didn't know mum tripped -.-
i dun have a ounce of common sense.

sister came in and started lecturing me.
started opunishing me for nothing.
so originally the 2thousand lines of i will not disobey my mother became.
2 thousand words of reflective essay by 9.39 -.- SIAO. or another computer ban.
fine, ban me.
you're just jealous that at my age, you didn't get to go.
and you couldn't just understand that.
its a class outing.
the last and final one.
the one to say goodbye to all fond memories.
hais.
I was emoing there like hell.
saddened.